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Doctor, Doctor can you please help me out?

Yes, over there- the same way that you came in!

(Submitted by Leanne)

What's yellow and makes lots of noise?

(Submitted Lucy E )

What do you get if you cross a vampire with a snowman?

(Submitted by Hannah)

What do you call a 1 eyed dinosaur?


(Submitted by Hugendush)

Why did mickey mouse go to space?


(Submitted by
katie oconnor and samantha edwards )

Knock knock.
Who's there?
Boo who.
I didn't know you were a baby.

(Submitted by Maria)

Ali G's sister was having baby twins but when they were born she became ill she woke up one morning and realised she hadn't named them.
"Doctor I haven't named my children."
"Don't worry your brother named them."
"what are their names?"
The doctor replied "Denise and Denephew"

(Submitted by Roaxanne Shipton )

Why did the chicken cross the road?


(Submitted by Emily)



(Submitted by James E)

Where do baby apes sleep?


(Submitted by Katie H)
Patient: Doctor doctor I've swallowed my pen
Doctor: Hmmm how are you coping so far
Patient: I'm using a pencil
Submitted by Gareth)

What happens when a tap, a dog and a tomato run a race?

(Submitted by Amit)

What do you call a fly without wings


(Submitted by Lisa B )

Why was the Egyptian boy confused?

(Submitted by Daphne)

what did the plane say to the helicopter?


(Submitted by Tom D )

What do Scottish owls sing?


(Submitted by Rob B )

Why is 6 afraid of 7?


(Submitted by Ekika)

what go up but never goes down?


(Submitted by Ekika )

What did the talking weighing machine say when a fat lady stepped on it?


(Submitted by Joyce)

What happens when you throw a green rock in a red sea?


(Submitted by Brian)

superfragalisticexpexpallidoshus How do you spell it?


(Submitted by Hannah Stevens)

What did the big chimney say to the little chimney

(Submitted by Poppy)

What do you call a man with a car on his head?

(Submitted by Trev)

What part of a computer does an astronaut like best?


(Submitted by Ami))

There are two cats and they had a race against
each other one cat was called 123 and the other
cat was called une duex trois what cat won?


(Submitted by Hannah)

You are about to cross a railroad
and you see a sign and it says:

'Railroad crossing look out for the cars
can u spell that without any Rs'?


(Submitted by jecky jane)

What do you give birds when they are ill?


(Submitted by Hannah E)

What do you get if you cross a chicken with a road?


(Submitted by
Andrew Stephenson)

There is a guy who lives in a one storey house. Everything in his house is pink. The lamp is pink, the bed is pink, the television is pink, the computer is pink, the mirror is pink, the kitchen is pink, the windows are pink, even the plants are pink. What colour are the stairs?


(Submitted by Charlene)



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